Dear Kissinger,
Maybe I’m out of touch. Hell, I’m 71 years old. But...
“Bad boy” chefs? Can someone explain this to me?!
God bless America,
John
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This blog is a work of fiction, and is not intended to represent the actual thoughts or feelings of Senator John McCain. If anything written here does match that of the senator, the author pats himself on the back for having wicked good intuition. The author would like to note that he recognizes and appreciates Mr. McCain’s record of military service and the great physical and psychological sacrifices he made for his country. That said, the author also recognizes and lacks appreciation for the senator’s dubious record as a public servant. The author finds Mr. McCain to be a disingenuous, condescending megalomaniac with severe anger-management issues, who would do better to dedicate himself to years of psychotherapy than to, say, attempt to take the helm of the most powerful nation in the Western World.
The darkest private thoughts of a would-be President
Did you know that John McCain...?
· Cheated repeatedly on his first wife Carol, who waited for him while he was imprisoned in Vietnam. He eventually left her and his children in 1979, to run off a with multi-millionaire named Cindy.
· Fought against a bill that would recognize Martin Luther King, Jr. Day as a federal holiday (for seven years!).
· Took bribes as a member of the “Keating Five” — a group of senators who were paid off to interfere with an investigation of illegal activities that sparked the S&L Crisis (which cost tens-of-thousands of elderly investors their life savings, and cost the American people $175 billion in bail-out money).
· Masturbates to the sight of women’s bare feet.*
(*Okay, we made that last part up.)
· Fought against a bill that would recognize Martin Luther King, Jr. Day as a federal holiday (for seven years!).
· Took bribes as a member of the “Keating Five” — a group of senators who were paid off to interfere with an investigation of illegal activities that sparked the S&L Crisis (which cost tens-of-thousands of elderly investors their life savings, and cost the American people $175 billion in bail-out money).
· Masturbates to the sight of women’s bare feet.*
(*Okay, we made that last part up.)
JOHN MCCAIN IS
DISCLAIMER
This blog is a work of fiction, and is not intended to represent the actual thoughts or feelings of Senator John McCain. If anything written here does match that of the senator, the author pats himself on the back for having wicked good intuition. The author would like to note that he recognizes and appreciates Mr. McCain’s record of military service and the great physical and psychological sacrifices he made for his country. That said, the author also recognizes and lacks appreciation for the senator’s dubious record as a public servant. The author finds Mr. McCain to be a disingenuous, condescending megalomaniac with severe anger-management issues, who would do better to dedicate himself to years of psychotherapy than to, say, attempt to take the helm of the most powerful nation in the Western World.
1 comment:
I just want to say that this blog cracks me up. That is all.
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